i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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