East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He better not be in your backpack
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
