just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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