Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize