I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
