I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
