her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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