Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
