He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
