I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my poor anus
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
