I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
