Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
