he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
