What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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