hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
