All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
