I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
