Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
