There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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