If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
