it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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