No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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