I bet he comes in French.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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