it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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