We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
