Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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