The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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