It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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