Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
