she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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