sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
