I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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