I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
