I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
