so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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