he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Pooping to opera.
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