Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude. I can hear the air.
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