Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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