I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
