direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
