ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
