at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
