In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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