i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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