and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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