We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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