Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
