I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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