why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
