your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize