It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
