like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
