guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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