I wanna bring you to show and tell
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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