i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
