dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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