Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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