where am i from again
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
