He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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